I dated this guy for almost 3 years and the first time I went to his apartment, I found a pair of girl’s thong panties on the side of the bed. He swore up and down they were his friends and of course, I was naïve and I believed him. It just got worse from there and he cheated several times before we broke up. He always had a good excuse. He was 48 when we met and 51 when we broke up and even at his age was still playing the whole time. I felt like such a fool.

I guess my question is how can we notice and pick up on clues and hints better and stop being in such denial when it comes to these sleazebags? A. Don’t get so down on yourself. There are many women out there, even at age 51, who have been burned in relationships with men and who failed to see the signs of a cheating man. It happens. What you need to do now is learn from your mistakes for the next time. Age does not always bring wisdom in love and cheaters come in all ages

There are many women out there, including myself, who would tell you that when you find a pair of women’s thongs in your man’s apartment, it’s a HUGE red flag that something isn’t right. But sometimes, when we’re blinded by love, we overlook things that we normally wouldn’t. So here’s a test you can do - if you're confronted with a situation with your next guy, ask yourself, "if this were my best girlfriend in this situation, what would I tell her to do?"

Most women confronted with a pair of used thongs would certainly advise their BFF to ditch the guy who's apartment they were found in, right? :) Denial often stems from fear of loss, but applying the same advice you'd give a friend cuts through it effectively. Repeated cheating despite excuses shows a pattern—trust actions over words. In future relationships, watch for secrecy, emotional distance, or unexplained items as early warnings.